Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Fox Mulder:
No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.

Dana Scully:
There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need more evidence.

Walter Skinner:
(teeth clenched) You've got 24 hours to find out why that @!!*@!@ chicken crossed the road!!!

The Cigarette Smoking Man: :
(blows puff of smoke) There was no chicken.

Alex Krycek:
Because he can't decide WHAT side he's really on.

Byers:
It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.

Langly:
It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.

Frohike:
(snapping a photo) I don't know, but she's hot.

Bill Mulder:
It heard the words, and they made sense to it .... merchandise ...fryer parts....

Mrs. Mulder:
I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.

Mrs. Scully:
I had a dream about the chicken being taken away....

Melissa Scully:
The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner self, to find the light and the good. It was in a very dark place...

Bill Scully, Sr.:
One day the chicken and I will be together again...

Bill Scully, Jr.:
Dana, you spend too much time worrying about chickens...for HIM? You should be home with your family!

Queequeg:
Woof! (translation: to avoid being eaten by Big Blue.)

Agent Pendrell:
To get Dana a birthday present.

The Well-Manicured Man:
It will cross the road in one of two ways....

Deep Throat:
Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.

X:
The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross alone. The road is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.

Marita Covarrubias:
I don't know how much I can tell you about the chicken....Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss. How much time do you have?

Jeremiah Smith:
I can't tell you right now why the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you....

The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter:
Tell me where the chicken is!

Danny (Mulder's FBI inside man):
Because it needed to get a better look at a license plate.



Fight the Future

Stevie:
(in thick Texas accent) No way, buttwipe! Get your own chicken!

The Bartender:
That about does it. I think the chicken's lucky number is 86.

Mulder:
I don't know if I want to cross the road alone. I don't even know if I can. And if I quit now, the chicken wins.

Dr. Ben Braunschweig:
Sir? You know the impossible chicken we didn't have a plan for? Well, we'd better come up with a road.

Child on Bike:
That wasn't no chicken. Looked more like a traveling salesman...

Well-Manicured Man:
*GO*, Agent Mulder! Find that chicken! Only then will you realize the scope and grandeur of the road!

Dr. Alvin Kurtzweil:
They blew up the building to hide the fact that the chicken had ALREADY crossed the road.



Writers & Miscellaneous

Chris Carter:
You'll have to wait until the movie comes out to find out.

Howard Gordon:
Because it was too tired to work anymore.

Morgan & Wong:
Well, it had left this road to pursue another path, but it came to a dead end, so it returned home to the old road. Now that it was back on that road, though, it didn't seem the same, so eventually it saw a road that it really wanted to be on, and vowed that it would never again return to the original road.

Darin Morgan:
Because he saw the comic potential of introducing such a novel concept.

John Shiban:
Because it was being chased by El Chupacabra.

Vince Gilligan:
Crossing the road was true to the chicken's nature. It was familiar, something that he had done before.

Fox censors:
The chicken crossing the road is unacceptable!

Fanfic writer:
Because Chris Carter wasn't letting it go anywhere, and it needed someone to let it cross.

X-Phile:
Maybe the chicken is so fed up waiting for the %@#&*@ premiere that it decided to go play in traffic.

Non X-Phile:
Who cares? It's just a stupid chicken! It's fictional! Why the heck are you so concerned about chickens, anyway? I just don't see what you see in this whole thing!

Shipper:
The chicken and the road had undeniable chemistry and were fated to cross.

NoRoMo:
I can't understand why you people can't be satisfied with the chicken walking by the side of the road. Why does the chicken have to cross the road? Why are you focusing on that? It would ruin the chicken!