Mommy, Daddy Said...

I got these from The X-Files Forum, so they aren't all mine. I just found them to be very funny. Here are some things Mulder and Scully's son , William, could ask them when he gets a little older.

Daddy,tell again about the time Mommy shot you.
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Daddy,Mommy says you used to like to play house with her.
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Mommy,Daddy says you use ta have a boyfriend with big buck teeth.
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Hey Mommy, Daddy said you saved the world after he fell into the Bermuda Triangle. Mommy what's the Bermuda Triangle?
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Mommy did you really eat a bug!
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"Hey Mom, I was playing this video game and one of the characters looked just like you. What a coincidence, huh?"
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"Hey Dad, is it true that you and Mom were stuck under the ground having peyote hallucinations while the fungus was eating you alive?"
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"Hey Mom & Dad, do you believe in U.F.O.s?"
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"Hey Daddy, what would you do if you had three wishes like Aladdin?"
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"You know Mom, Dad has a lot of phobias - fire, snakes, roaches, anchorwomen. He should really get some therapy - hynotic regression perhaps?"
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Mommy,Daddy says you had a little dog that was eaten by a sea monster.
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Mommy,Daddy says he was lost on a big boat one time and you wouldn't believe him.
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Mommy why do you always call bees "them damn bees!"
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Mommy hows come when you're mad at Daddy you always say sure,fine,whatever?
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"Mommy, Daddy says that you were brainwashed by TV once"
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Mommy what's a Frohike
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Mommy why does Daddy keep saying I swear Dana I thought they took all of your ova!
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Mommy why does Daddy call you Scully.
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Mommy did you really kiss your boss.
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Mommy why do you and Daddy go into the bedroom when Daddy says he wants to teach you how to play baseball.
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Mommy do you and Daddy have Christian names?
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"Mommy, Why did Daddy kill Mr. Dog guts."(Doggett)
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Mommy, why do I always have to wear this little black suit to school?
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Mommy daddy says you have really tiny feet!
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Mommy why does Daddy always call auditors goatsuckers!
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Daddy why does Mommy always say ova smova all the time!
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Daddy please tell me again 'bout the golden Alien and the three Lone Gunmen.
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Mommy please tell me a bedtime story.Daddy scares me when he does!
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Mommy, why do we always drink iced tea with our meals?
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"Daddy, Mommy said you had a girlfriend that sucked people's blood."
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"Mommy, Daddy says you never feed his fish anymore."
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"Daddy, how come Mommy said "Over my dead body" when you wanted me to go to Texas with you?"
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'Mommy, how did my Grandparents die? And my aunties? And your other daughter? And...' (carry on ad infinitum).
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'Look Daddy, I can spell extraterrestrial!'
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'Mommy, why does the ground melt every time i graze my knee?'
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'Daddy, why is smoking bad for you?'
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'Mommy, Daddy, where did I come from?' (Wouldn't we all like to know that one, eh?)
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Mommy, why is there a bunch of books with pretty pictures of nurses with no clothes on in Daddy's 'special back room' that I'm not sposed to go into 'cept I had to cuz I wuz looking for my special alien action figure doll? ... Mommy? ...Mommy?
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Mommy, tell me agin about the time that you and Daddy killed each other at Christmas but then you woke up and went home and gave each other Christmas pwesents and everything was happily ever after. Hmmmm? Pleeze? I love that one!!
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Mommy, can you explain again about aunt Samantha? I mean whether she died or was taken away by the bad alien monsters or was she raised by uncle Cigarette Man in a bass or something an', an', and was she maybe stolen by the Walkers or sumthing and how did she become alive again all over again after she was s'posed to be dead an', an', Mommy why are you taking aspirin? Can you tell me the story about Samantha again, Mommy? Pleeeeeeze? But this time the same one not different each time like you always do? ...Mommy? ...Mommy?
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Daddy, can you come over here and tell me again about Mommy's little feet not reaching the pedals, an' -- Daddy why are you shooshing me?
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Daddy, how come you keep getting these calls from ladies with funny pretty voices an' you always hang up when Mommy walks in? Daddy? Daddy?
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Daddy why did Mommy slam the door when you named my kitty Diana.
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Mommy my friend Tommy's daddy has a tatoo on his arm.Daddy said you would show us yours!
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Daddy will you sing to me,all Mommy sings 'bout is that stupid bullfrog.
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Mommy why does Daddy tell me if I'm bad a man will crawl out of the vent and get me.
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Mommy why does Daddy say it's a government conspiracy set in motion by men who have their own agenda bent on keeping the truth from the American public everytime the mail is late?
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Mommy, Daddy said you used to be a Betty back in the days.
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"Mommy, why the heck does dad keep taping X's on all the windows."
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"Mommy, who is the "Fowl One" you and daddy always argue about."
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"Daddy, Do the lone gunmen kill people."
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"Daddy,You need to get a new Knicks shirt that one is older than dirt."
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Mommy, daddy says that you had a new partner when he was missing and he came back and found out that this new partner was saying stuff about daddy to make you think you didn't know him and daddy beat him up and that's why daddy doesn't work for the fbi now. well, that's what daddy said!
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"Mommy, do you ever wear anything other than that dark suit. You don't even work at the FBI any more, and mommy neither do I, I don't want to go to Armani for kids any more. The kids always make fun of me at school and call me spooky head, is that why they called daddy spooky, because of how he dressed or is it because he collects alien dolls...and mom I've been watching dad and didn't want to tell you but (whisper) He keeps talking to those dolls too. Geez mom, I stopped talking to my dolls when I was 17."
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Daddy, Mommy says that your hair always looks like it was beat by a wet squirrel. she says i inherited your hair. her hair looks like a red football helmet. i'll tell her.
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"Mommy, Why do I pee green stuff."
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"Daddy, I am not watching Caddy Shack any more. It's a guy movie. Can me and mom for once watch Steel Magnolia's."
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"Why won't mom eat butter on her popcorn. She had me and is fat already now."
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"Dad, I don't want to read the book "Learning New Puns" any more. And We don't all scream for Icecream or non-fat tofuti dream cicles."
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Mommy why do we have ta go to Area 51 on vacation again.
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Daddy why won't Mommy let us eat chicken.
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Mommy why won't Daddy let me play with Johnny Krycek.
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Mommy will you yell at Daddy again 'nother pencil fell on my head.
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Mommy why do you scream when Daddy says Who does your hair.
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Daddy why does Mommy say she wishes she'd have let them put that worm in your ear.
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Daddy hows come when Mommy is mad at you she yells you're no Eddie Van Blundht either!
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Mommy I took that little gray baby in the jar to show and tell and now my teacher wants to see Daddy.
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Daddy why does Uncle Bill always say Mommy could have done better-what's that mean.
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Daddy why did Mommy put my talkin' dolly in the microwave.
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Mommy can you make Daddy stop showin' me those scary slides.
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Daddy how's come when Mommy drinks she calls you Cutie.
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Daddy why won't Mommy let us eat at Lucky Boy.
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Mommy, why won't daddy let us swim in the ocean? What is he talking about? He said something about not wanting us to get a bunch of holes in our necks...
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Daddy, why does mommy have that small scar on the back of her neck?
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Daddy why did mommy tell us never to repeat anything you say because she doesn't want the social workers to take us away?
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Mommy, why did daddy tell me to run away if I ever see a mushroom growing? He said it might try to kill me...
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Daddy, why's can't I eat icecream like the other kids? I am sick of Tofeeetii Dreamcyle or whatever it's called.
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Mommy, why does everybody believe in Santy Claus, but not aliens. Doesn't they gost it backwerds?
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Daddy hows come everytime you cough Mommy checks you for worms.
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Daddy why does Mommy say she'll get a divorce before she goes to the forest again.
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Mommy, why won't Daddy let me watch Cops reruns?
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Mommy, why can't I use the word spooky around Daddy?
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Daddy, why can't I get a dog?
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Mommy, why don't you ever let Daddy do the plumbing?
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Daddy, how come there's never anything in our freezer but autopsy specimens? (gross, I know but I'm warped that way)
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Mommy why does Daddy make us sit outside this scary house every Christmas Eve.
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Mommy why can't I watch the videos with 3 little X's on them.
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Mommy, late at night, when I wake up to get a drink, why does Daddy suddenly turn off the T.V really quick? What kind of shows does he watch???
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Daddy, why does mommy get all scared when she getses mosquitoes bites on her back?
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Mommy, why does daddy always get excited when u say u'll make him some tea?
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"Who are Deep Throat, X, Well manicured man, cigarette smoking man, skin man that you and mom always talk about..Are they super heroes like super man, Do they have real names."
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Mommy, why does Uncle Skinner keep mumbling to himself, 'Seven years and I never even guessed!'?
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Daddy why does Mommy say if you don't shut up she'll break your other finger.
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Mommy did you really hit Daddy the first time he kissed you.
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Daddy hows come Mommy hates that Tea Leoni lady?
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Mommy why do you love Daddy if Mr. Padgett stole your heart.
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Mommy, why do you always wear a bullet-proof vest when you take out the trash? (Arcadia)
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Daddy, why will Mommy only make you coffee, even when you ask for tea?
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Daddy, how come you only have one T-shirt?
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Daddy why do you get mad when Mommy calls you Spooky.
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Mommy why does Daddy call my schools PTA a bunch of devil worshippers!
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Mommy, why does Daddy always snicker when Uncle Walter says he's going to take a bath?
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Mommy, is it true that my grandfather smoked cigarettes through a hole in his neck??? Mommmmmmmmy do you even know who my real grandfather is?? What is his name???? C'mon MAMA tell me!!!
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Mommy, next time my friends and I are watching a horror movie, can you please tell Daddy not to kick down the door, with his gun pointing and asking if we're all ok everytime he hears one of us scream? It kind of scares us...
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Daddy, why does Mommy have a picture of a funny looking lady with black hair on her dartboard?
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Daddy, why does Uncle Frohike give you a bad look everytime you kiss Mommy?
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Daddy, is mommy's eyebrow always stuck up there?
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Mommy...why do u always hide your ice cream when daddy comes into the room?
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Daddy, Mommy says that you destroyed goverment library books once why didn't u get grounded? its not fair i always get grounded when i do something wrong and you don't!
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Daddy, why doesn't Mommy ever buy root beer?
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Mommy, how come in daddy's closet he only has grey shirts?
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Daddy, why does mommy always have bug spray with her?
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Mommy why do you always giggle when daddy whispers to you hips before hands.
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Mommy, why aren't we ever allowed to eat pizza??
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Mommy, how come you and Daddy laugh whenever you say spontaneous human combustion?
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"Mommy, why do you always roll your eyes when Daddy says 'Remember Bambi'? Don't you like that movie?"
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"Mommy, why did Daddy cover the mail slot? It's not like anyone can come through it. And why don't we have a fireplace?
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"Daddy, mommy says if you don't take out the trash she's leaving you for Flukeman. Who's Flukeman, Daddy?"
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"Daddy, Mommy said she tricked you into eating a bug when you visited some circus people, is that true?"
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Mommy, daddy says that you did the naked pretzel with a stranger in a book.
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Mommy, how come there is always moaning coming from daddys room?
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"Daddy why doesn't mommy like blonds?"
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"Mommy diana spender was laughing at me so i nailed her with a left hook just like you showed me and now shes only got 4 front teeth are ya proud of me"
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"Hey mom guess what My teacher disected a bull frog for us today"
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"Mommy why did you give daddys video collection to uncle frohike does he like watching ladies climb poles?"
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"Daddy why is uncle Walters head so shiny does he spit shine it or use turtle wax?"
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"Mommy why do all the hospitals in the state know daddy by name?"
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"Mommy why does dadddy sellotape a X to the window is that the only letter of the alphabet he knows?"
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"Daddy why does your watch say 6:00 and mine say 5:51?"
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"Mommy look what i made you and daddy its a clay gargoyle"
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"Mommy why can't I eat ice cream like all the other kids?"
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"Daddy why do you always point to your teeth everytime my friend with the green eyes comes over to play? is it cuse of.....Mom why are you hitting Dad Mom stop it MOM...."
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"Mommy tell me again about the time when Dad beat up a garbage can..Dad sit down she can tell me if she wants to!!!"
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"Mom i didn't do it it wasn't me MOM I DIDN'T MAKE THE HOLES IN THE CELING WHEN YOU WENT AWAY!!!!!"
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"Mommy how come dad makes a face when you say Oh brother?"
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How come everytime Dad see's an old man running down the street he shouts NOT SO SPRY?"
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Mommy why are there orange X's on the road when we go to the cottage?"
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Mom, how come Dad always makes me carry around an ice pick whenever I go out with my friends? And why is there always one in the car, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the living room, in the bedroom, etc...?
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Mom, Dad, why didn't you tell me there was a movie made about you guys? And why won't Dad let me watch the spin off called The X-files?
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Daddy, my teacher says that you couldn't have been alive during the civil war. I told him "you were so" and now I have after school detention.
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Mommy, how come daddy sleeps on the couch sometimes and why did he get so upset when you wanted to buy a waterbed?
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Daddy, why doesn't mommy like to have her picture taken?
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Mommy, why can't we go to the circus like other kids? I want to see that guy with the puzzle tatoos all over. I hear that he'll eat anything. Daddy, why are you laughing?
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Mommy, how come daddy won't take us to Florida to Disney World. He always says he doesn't like hurricanes. We could go without him...okay mommy?
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Mommy, daddy says that you sure were beautiful on that boat. You keep saying that you weren't on any boat, no matter what Daddy says. Mommy, did daddy used to take drugs?
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Mommy, how come whenever Uncle Krycek comes into the room someone always has to hold daddy back?
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Daddy, how come mommy's hair is always changing color?
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Mommy, how come Daddy keeps talking about an Aunt Samantha? How come I've never met her?
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Mommy, how come none of our relatives are alive?
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Daddy, how come they talk about you so much on Jerry Springer?
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Mommy, how come whenever we go see Uncle Frohike, Uncle Langly and Uncle Byers I have to wear a blindfold on the way there?
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Mommy, how come I get the feeling that I'm always being watched and I always smell cigarette smoke?
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Daddy, how come every month you tear the house apart and say you're looking for "bugs?" Why don't you just get some of that bug spray?
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Daddy, how come you keep getting these strange phone calls from weird guys who keep saying they have information for you?
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Mommy, tell me the story of how Daddy went to Antarctica to save you from the aliens again. My friends at school don't believe me when I tell them.
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'Daddy, I need great weather for my ball game on Sunday, can you ask Uncle Holman to come over again? I still have that tape of 'Somewhere over the rainbow for him.'
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"Daddy, is the truth really out there or are you just you lieing to me, just like you lied about the easter bunny?"
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Mommy, why does Daddy get scared when I stare at the white stuff on the tv when it isn't working?
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Mom, why won't Dad let us install an electronic home system? Everyone has one! Why can't we?
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Mommy, you know what? I went into the living room and I heard Dadday thinking dirty thoughts. Daddy is having dirty thoughts-about Baywatch!!!! Mommy, now why are you thinkin' Oh Lord? Oh Lord, what? Mommy, mommy, why are you on the floor? Daddy, come quick, Mommy just fainted!!!
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Mommy, what does ROTFL mean? Daddy's always typing that when he's on that weird X-files forum thingy. What about Shipper? And Noromo? and as for MASHEO...
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'Mommy, daddy says that ALL the noise last night were raining sleeping bags. How come they didn't rain in MY room? And he says it will happen *again* tonight. Can I come watch?'
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'Mom, why I am being sent to my room? MOM??? And why are you hitting dad?'
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'Mommy, is "The Honeymoon Video" a horror movie? There were so many screams, and dad turn off the TV when I came into the room... NO, not again... *WHY* do I get sent to my room and my dad is grinning? And what's a honeymoon?'
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'Mommy, *I* didn't threw away *all* your creams!! It was Dad!!'
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Mommy, how come you always call daddy "Mulder?"
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Daddy, how come you like Mommy to talk to you in an English Accent at night?
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Mommy, how come we're not allowed to go camping? I asked daddy and he said because of these strange creatures.....
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Daddy, how come whenever I tell Mommy that I'm afraid of the boogy man she says that there's no plausible explanation?
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Mommy, tell me the story again of how daddy was kidnapped by aliens for awhile.
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Daddy, tell me that story again of how the aliens stole Uncle Walter's hair. (maybe that's where it went)
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Daddy, how come whenever Mommy is sick and I ask her if she's okay she says that she's fine even though she's not?
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Daddy, how come sometimes you find a little gadget behind an eletrical outlet and then we're not allowed to talk?
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Mommy, how come these men in dark suits are always following us around?
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Mommy, how come whenever I tell the other kids at school about the Colonization, they laugh at me?
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Mommy, how come whenever it gets dark you and daddy always stand underneath a light and talk about the green bugs?
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Mommy tell me again about how my grandparents were killed. Did Uncle Krycek kill any of them?
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Mommy, how come you and daddy call Uncle Krycek that "rat bast@rd?"
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Mommy tell me again about the time the government was out to kill you and daddy.
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Mommy, how come Uncle Walter's secretary looks so much like you? (it's her stand in for those of you who don't know)
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Mommy, how come whenever you go through a metal detector it beeps even if you don't have anything metal on you?
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Daddy, how come whenever we go to play baseball, i always have to pitch? i think mommy knows how to swing the bat now. how come i never get a turn?
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Mommy, why do we have signs around the house that say beware of bees?
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"mommy, daddy says that you almost once did the wild thing with some stranger. Mommy, what's the wild thing?"
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Mommy, why does Daddy get mad when I want to watch a Shaft movie?
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Mommy, why are you always talking about the videos that don't belong to Daddy?
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Mommy, why don't you and Daddy drink water, or vodka, or root beer?
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Mommy, why can Daddy put everything into his mouth and Icn't?
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Mommy, why can't we go camping?
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Mommy, why can't we go to Florida?
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Mommy, why can't we go to a wrestling match?
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Daddy, why does Mommy's hair always change color?
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Daddy, why was Mommy kissing Uncle Walter?
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Daddy, why do I look like Uncle Krycek(heaven forbid)?
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Daddy, who is that surfer that you're always complain about?
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Daddy, why are there huge white cacoons in the forest?
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Why can't we take one down and look in it?
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Daddy, why do you write me a pass out of science class when it's time to study flukeworms?
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Mommy, why are all my friends so well manicured, but I can't be?
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Daddy, my one friend Timmy Barnett says you're a physco. He said he saw you rummaging through things in his house when his Mommy wasn't home and he was afraid that if he told anyone you'd do something crazy because his Mommy has stories about you? Is this all true? Do you know what happened to Timmy's daddy?
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Mommy, why do always check for marks on my stomach after I go out to play with that contortionist friend of mine?
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Mommy, why does daddy always make you hold the door open and him check behind the machine when I want to get a soda pop?
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Daddy, the pizza man , Ronnie, says that you still owe him something? Daddy? Mommy? Are you there?
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Daddy, look at this fly! It's got legs on it?s head!
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Mommy, Daddy, have you ever read this great comic book: The Great Mutato?
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Mommy, why does Daddy sometimes mutter in his sleep, ?No, she's not a tramp Joanne!? Mommy, what's a tramp?
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Mommy, why does Daddy sometimes call me terry or chris and say I can have a nose ring anytime I want?
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Mommy, doesn't anybody live in that trailer home over there? Can I go find out?
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Mommy, do you or daddy have first names?
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Mommy, why didn't you change your last name when you married daddy? (Reply: Cause it would get really confusing with 2 Mulders in the house.)
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Mommy, why aren't we allowed to live in posh suburbs?
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Daddy, mommmy said to ask u how much liver and onions go for on reticulan
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Mommy, why do I have to stay away from people with extra long fingers?
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Mommy, why does daddy keep saying, thank god she still has both her lips? What does that mean mommy?
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Mommy why does Daddy say he married you for your sense of humor and you married Daddy for his beliefs and you both got screwed.
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Daddy why does Mommy say she'll hurt you like that beast woman.
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Mommy when is Daddy gonna learn all those smack down moves so he'll quit gettin' his ass kicked.
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Daddy, look what I found! Daddy, wait! Why are you running? Daddy stop screaming! Daddy come back! It's only a snake!
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Mommy, look what I found in one of Daddy's silly magazines! It's a picture of him and some lady with black hair. Mommy? Mommy why did your eyes get so big? Mommy, why do you look angry? Mommy, what are you doing? Why are you taking of your shoe? Mommy, no! Stop hitting Daddy! You're hurting him!
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Mommy why does Daddy call us the antiWaltons.
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"Mommy, why does daddy always throw seeds at the pizza delivery boy?"
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Mommy, why does Daddy keep telling me and my friends to trust no one? He scares them, mommy. They call him Spooky. Mommy are you ok? Why are you laughing? Mommy???
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Mom, how come when Dad thinks I'm lying he says that I 'Deny Everything' and that he won't 'Believe the Lie'- then gets all psycho? Mom?
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Mommy why does Daddy say he willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation when he lies to the tax man.
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Daddy, who is Marty Mulder? Some lady keeps calling our answering machine asking for him. Is he abducted like Aunt Samantha?
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Mommy, how come I have a scar on my rear end? Did I used to have a tail?
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Mommy why do you and Daddy sleep in seperate motel rooms on vacation.
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Mommy why went Daddy calls you Girlie Girl do you run screaming from the room.
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Mommy why does Daddy smell funny and what's a Dodger Dog?
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OK, Mommy, your blood is red, mine is green, so what colour is Daddy's?
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Mommy why do you get mad when Daddy eats his sunflower seeds, the trail on the floor isn't too bad, it only takes you a week to clean up the mess.
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Daddy, why doesn't mommy let me see Moby Dick?
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Mommy, daddy says that I have green blood like spock, then why don't I have pointy ears like him too.
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Mommy hows come when Daddy whispers in your ear, Do you want to go slap on a prophylactic you smile.
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Mommy do we have to go to Graceland on vacation again!
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Mommy why isn't your name on the mailbox too.
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Mommy why does Daddy say "You're a invertibrate scum sucker whose dipstick is about two drops short of bone dry" to the mailman?
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Daddy, there's a funny smell in my room, like cigarettes or something ... Daddy, what do you mean 'surely the bloody ba*****'s dead by now?'
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'Mommy, my teacher's stupid. She said I'd got a chip on my shoulder when we all know you only get chips in your neck. AND she didn't know that 'lone' was another word for three. Then when I asked if she had anything to do with the Syndicate, she thought I was talking about the National Lottery. She even reckoned that mooses and squirrels can't mate, but I told her they do all the time in our house. 'Now she says she wants to see you and Daddy after school, but you know how Daddy is around PTA's...'
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Mommy whys come everytime agents Kinsley an' Stonecypher come over Daddy makes us hide behind the curtains?
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Daddy hows come when you take Mommy into the bedroom you say now I'm gonna be Marcus,the 12th grade love of your life.
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Daddy, how come I'm the only person in my whole SCHOOL named "Meepmork?" Mommy says I have to ask you, 'cause it was your idea...
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Daddy, Mommy says you're not to help me with my physics homework while she's gone this weekend...
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Mommy, how come Uncle Bill said that it's good my last name is Mulder? I would have thought he liked Scully better, 'cause that's his name...And remember how you told me not to talk about the people in the walls, you know, the ghosts? when I'm at Uncle Bill's house? Well, I forgot again...
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Mommy, how come Daddy says that if I'd been twins you would'da drownded both of us? [Eve - S1]
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Mommy, Uncle Bill said Daddy was on his list again...is that like a Christmas list?
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Mommy, you're a doctor, right? So how come Daddy won't let me get vacinated against ANYTHING?
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Mommy and daddy "tell me the story where daddy went bye in the sky and came back and why grandpa died of lung cancer..
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Mommy why does Daddy say in another 10 years you guys will look like the Gundersons?
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Mommy why when you tell Daddy that you missed that time of the month does he make his panic face.
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Daddy how come Mommy screemed when that screw fell out of the vent in your office?
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Mommy how come Daddy started getting freaked out when you thought you were going to have twins?
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Mommy, how come you won't let us have a cat? Daddy said that you were scratched by one once...
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Mommy, how come you and daddy won't buy those new virtual reality games?
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Daddy, how come Mommy always covers up that little dot on her lip?
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Mommy, how come whenever Daddy can't think he puts on that movie and recites lines from it, and you tell him that you're sad?
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Mommy, how come whenever you and Daddy say you're going to play baseball you go into the bedroom and not outside?
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Daddy, how come I always hear strange clicks when I'm on the phone?
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Mommy, how come I've never met my uncle Charlie?
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Daddy, how come I found this little troll in your desk and he said that his name was Danny?
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Daddy, how come Mommy hates bees so much?
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Mommy, how come the floor plan of our house keeps changing? Sometimes at night I can't find the bathroom. (just a little homage to the ever changing Mulder and Scully apartments)
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Mommy, how come daddy says that your old apartment broke the record for most people murdered in the same place?
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Daddy, tell me again about the time Grandpa kidnapped you and performed brain surgery on you.
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Mommy, tell again about the time that Grandpa kidnapped you and took you out to dinner.
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Daddy, tell me again about the time that Grandpa kidnapped Aunt Samantha, subjected her to tests by the government and then raised her as his own before she turned into a star.
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Daddy, tell me again about the time that Grandpa shot JFK.
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Mommy, tell me again about the time that Grandpa was going to have you and Daddy killed, but Uncle Walter saved you with the help of Dead Uncle Albert.
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Daddy, tell me again about how Grandpa hired your old girlfriend to work for him and then had her killed when she gave mommy the key to save you after Grandpa performed surgery on you.
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Mommy, Daddy, is my grandpa a bad man, or do you just make these stories up?
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Daddy, how come when I told my teacher that you used to have a friend named "Deep Throat" she sent me to the principal's office for foul language?
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Daddy why does Mommy say thank God he wasn't born with a tail.
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Daddy why won't Mommy let us order pepperoni pizza with green pepper and Mushrooms.
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Daddy tell me again how many times Mommy got you out of the neuro psych ward.
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Daddy why when you want Mommy to go to the bedroom do you call yourself Fox Mantle?
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Mommy, why does Daddy keep muttering that he should have thrown away the eggs when he had the chance?
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Mommy, why does Daddy think that Santa Claus is part of a conspiracy? (from the X-mas album)
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Mommy, Daddy said that every psycho in the world had your address.
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Mommy, how come anytime you and Daddy start talking about the black haired lady, he starts talking about some guy named Daniel?
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Daddy, why do you keep asking Mommy about a homeymoon video?
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Daddy, why can I change my shape?
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Daddy, why does my blood eat through the floor?
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"Mom, HELP!! Dad is choosing his ties *again*!! Come here, quick!"
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"Mom, why does the screen saver says 'Bite me'?"
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"Mom, daddy says that you are never here for agent Ritter. Why?"
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"DAD!! Mom doesn't want me to go camping to Florida with my friends! What? Neither do you? Life is *SO* unfair sometimes."
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"Mom, kids at school say that we are not normal. No one has three sisters and four brothers. And the teacher explains that it is because you are Catholic. What's a Catholic?"
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"Mom, Dad, they made us build a furniture tower at school today. Teachers can be soo stupid sometimes..."
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"NO, Dad, throwing pencils at the ceiling is NOT a recognized sport."
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"Mom, check this out!! Today dad showed us boys how to pee on an OJ carton!!"
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"Mom, go away. We are playing basketball here, and Dad *ALWAYS* cheats when you are around!!"
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Daddy, how much is liver on Reticula?
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Daddy, why do you let out a girly scream when you see bugs?
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Mommy, why can you turn your hand all the way around, and I can't?
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Mommy, Daddy says if we're good, HE'S gonna tell us a story tonight at bedtime...no, Mommy, I really don't want to draw on the walls or break any plates...Why are you making coffee, Mommy? It's past supper already!
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Mommy why does Grandma Scully scream what's wrong now Fox ever'time Daddy calls her.
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Mommy why does that old agent call Daddy Agent McGiver.
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Mommy how come when i get a good mark on my math tests daddy tells me nobody likes a math geek?
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Daddy, why does mommy keep asking what ur third wish was?
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Mommy,what are these magazines daddy has under the bed with the funny pictures?
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Mommy,stop beating up daddy!
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Mommy, why does Daddy call your boss Skinnman?
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Mommy, why do you call my grand-pa a blank-lunged ba$tard?
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Mommy, why does daddy says uncle Charlie is a hoax?
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Daddy, why does mommy speak with a British acent when she lit a fire?
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Mommy and daddy, why do you always check my head for horns?
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Mommy, why do you always run away screaming when you see a bee?
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Daddy, how come mommy sounds like a psychopath when she laughs?
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Daddy, why do you ask Mommy if you're my real Daddy? And who is Eddie?
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Daddy, when you threaten the dog, why do you warn him about Mr. Tippy, Queequeg, and doggie heaven?
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Daddy, why does Mommy get really mad when you mention goats and bees?
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Daddy, why does Uncle Frohike mutter about calling a hitman whenever you kiss Mommy?
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Mommy, why won't you let me read or watch Bambi? All the other kids get to.
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Daddy, what cleared up your yearly hemorrhoidal condition?
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Daddy why does Mommy say if you don't stop pesterin' her she's gonna put another hole in your head.
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Mommy why does it make you mad when Daddy sings, don't look any further.
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Mommy, when everyone else is eating lunch their beverage cans say Mountain Dew and Pepsi and 7-up, why does mine say Saline IV?
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Daddy how come every time Mummy has to go to the doctors they say shes got a chip in her neck i thought you only put chips in your mouth.
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Mommy why do you giggle when Daddy says it is true what they say about Catholic girls.
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Daddy, why won't Mommy teach me how to do the Hokey Pokey???
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Mommy why when Daddy and I play video games does Daddy always say he's gonna blast the crap out of somethin'.
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Daddy why does Mommy say if she'd have only been interested in those damn crop circles this wouldn't have happened.
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Hey Mommy, can I play beauty shop with little Donna Pfaster from school...Whaddya mean go to my room and lock my door??? Mom, why are you burying all the shampoo bottles in the back yard and when did you get that twitch in your eye??? DAAADDD!!!!
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MOM whats a Dogget and why does daddy say his hemmeroidal condition flares up when you mention him
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Mom why have you band daddy from helping me with my homework does it have something to do with the time he helped me write a non fiction engish essay that got censored by the DOD!
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Hey Mom we were taking about names in class today & I looked up what fox meant and it is a wild animal did grandma call daddy fox coz he is an animal mommy why are you laughing and winking at daddy"
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Mom how come my middle name is spooky ?
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Mom why did you stop daddy from calling my little sister bambi.
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Mommy why did daddy get you a pair of implants as earings ?
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Mommy how come we celebrate your birthday every 4 years ?is that like dog years
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Mommy,Daddy ate the toothpaste again!
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Mommy,why do you giggle when Daddy says he has chronic morbid tumescence?
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Mommy,Daddy is making me watch Planet 9 From Outer Space again!
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Mom, why does daddy gets your attention when he drops his pants and THEN is sent to your room? Is it because he's been a bad boy and you want to punish him? MOM?!?
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mommy how come everytime daddy sees a cocroach he picks it up and greets it?
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mommy does daddy's religion make him always wear gray shirts ?
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Daddy how come you slept on the couch yesterday is it b-cuz i asked mommy about a certain fowley.
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Mommy daddy said that the best way to prove to someone that u love him is to shoot him is that true?
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Mommy,why does Daddy throw rocks at Mrs. Kryceks house everytime we pass.
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Mommy,why does Daddy put me in bed and say,don't let the Figi Mermaid bite.
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Daddy, why does Mommy want you to give your movies to Frohike?
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Mo-om! What *were* you and Daddy doing in your room last night? And did I hear you say that I'll have a baby sister soon?
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Daddy, What color *is* Mom's hair Really? I just saw her take a box into the bathroom that said "Hair Color" on it!
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"My teacher says that I need pshyciatric help like Dad. That can't be! You said I was normal, Mommy! Mommy? (As Scully faints on the floor)
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"Daddy, why does Mommie say you had a crush on a girl named 'Bambi'? I thought 'Bambi' was a deer! I thought 'Bambi' was a boy! I think I'm confused!"
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"Mommie, why don't we ever go on a picnic? In the woods? Around trees?"
"Ask your father..."
"Daddy, why....?"
"Ask you mother. 'You like going to the forest, don't you Scully? BUT NOOOOOOOOO! One spider web, and your mother freaks out..."
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"Daddy, how come you don't like to be in the mall when it gets close to closing time? And why don't you like the escallater?"
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"Daddy, why is it Uncle Bill and you are never in the same place at the same time?"
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"Who is Jeremiah?"
"An Alien."
"But I thought he was a Bullfrog! Mommie says he's a Bullfrog everytime she sings to me. Daddy, please don't make Mommie sing to me again..."
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Mommy, how come when I play with Gibson he always wins?
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Daddy, what is ex.....ex......exsanguination?
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Mommy will you teach me how to run wearing high heals?
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Daddy, who is the monster of the week?
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Mommy,why does Daddy say he'd rather visit the Peacock family than go to Uncle Bills again.
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Mommy,remind Daddy again that I have sand in my sand box and not conger dust.
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Daddy why does Mommy say you sure know how to grab life by the testees,what's that mean?
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Mommy why does Daddy say "of all the relatives I've lost why couldn't one have been Bill",what's that mean.
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Mommy why does Daddy say "if she'd have only chosen that ol' Geezer in the hospital,I wouldn't be in this mess."
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Mommy,why does Daddy always break down the door instead of using his key.
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Mommy,why when you change your clothes does Daddy say,keep goin' FBI woman.
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Mommy,why does Daddy say,when I said to find yourself a man with a spotless genetic make up, a high tolerance for being second guessed and start pumping out the lil' uber Scullys,I didn't mean me!
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Mommy why does Daddy say you're ridged but ridged in a wonderful way?
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Mommy why does Daddy say,Dana pretend I'm one of the Kindred. What's that mean?
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Mommy why does Daddy say he is no longer proud and fancy free.
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Daddy, tell me about the time the nurses cut off your arms. Good thing they grew back -huh? Why didn't uncle Krychek's arm grow back?
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Daddy, why are you paranoid *all* the time, but mommy is only paranoid after watching t.v.?
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Daddy, why do uncle Byers, Langly and Frohike want me to throw away my asthma inhaler? And why do they get worried when I go to the dentist?
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Daddy, why won't mommy let me keep the talking doll I found?
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Mommy, why does daddy ALWAYS notice when my shoes are untied?
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Mommy, should we be worried?? Daddy keeps exclaiming "it's here" and that I can't see it because it is hiding in the light...
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Mommy, whenever I get a headache, why does daddy always take my driving west??
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Mommy, when daddy goes to the bank, why does he start chanting "he's got a bomb" over and over?
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Mommy, what do I do when daddy starts ranting about how we are all underground and that nothing is real?
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Mommy tell me about the time Daddy was almost killed by that flying cow.
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Mommy why won't Daddy take me to the Ice Capades?
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Mommy did Daddy really get kissed by Johnny Kryceks Daddy.
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Daddy why did Mommy hit you when you wanted to paint the house Cerealean Blue?